Walking

Writing this in the departure “lounge” of La Guardia, which is as dingy and suicide-inducing a place as I’ve ever been in. The kind of place that makes non-smokers want to light up. And I’m still trying to catch up.

Walking in New York is a necessary art. (I reckon that in 10 days here, we've walked not less than 600 blocks. Some of them crosstown blocks.) Roy Blount Jr, in a piece from the 80’s, wrote about it, and I don’t think things have changed much. If I’ve unconsciously plagiarized him, sue me. If you have to copy, go with the good stuff.

Walking in Manhattan is not linear, and like everything else here, goes at a furious pace. It appears to be a complete free-for-all, but there are actually rules. You may strut, slide, stride, lope, or barge. You might get away with ankling or ambling, and upon exiting a restaurant or hotel, you can probably skedaddle with impunity. On any day but Sunday, you will be required to sidle. If you stroll or saunter, chances are your credibility will seriously be called into question, but go ahead and try it. But there is one rule that all must obey, local or visitor, old or young, and it is a rod of iron: Don’t Impede the Flow.

New York appears pretty tolerant of tourists (they have no choice), and you can take photographs, drink a coffee, or read a paper as you walk, without giving offense. But you absolutely, positively may not stop in your tracks. You will be run over like a bug. Gawk all you want, but don’t get in the way.

As a pedestrian, your relationship with motor vehicles is simple. You may cross any street at any point and at a time of your own choosing, without regard for signs. You may use a tour bus to block a taxi as you jaywalk. But you must always give the cab a way out, and if it goes bad, be prepared to take the hit without complaining.

And always, without fail, don’t impede the flow. Otherwise you’ll be just another tourist road-kill.